Posts Tagged ‘Clinton’

A list sparked at random and due to the fact that I have managed to stay awake throughout an entire night for the first time in I have no clue when.

June 20, 2008

I honestly can’t really tell if I am awake right now. I know that I am not entirely awake. Tony, Corey, and I have roamed the parking lots, coffee shops, sports bars, hotels, basketball courts, and convenience stores for the last 10 hours, making a full and resilient effort to last until Panera opened at 6 A.M. As I type this sentence it is the very stroke of 6:26 in the morning, Friday, June the 20th, and we have managed to complete our hefty task.

My brother immediately fell into a baffling sleep and is lounged across a comfortable-as-hell-looking sofa  chair.

I am sitting at a corner table, typing away on my laptop while Corey sits beside me on his, feasting on a breakfast sandwich of some sort, I’m guessing it’s sporting a type of pig meat and whatnot.

I am listening to the Red House Painters song, “Funhouse”, which I feel is really the coincidental-but-inevitably-brilliant soundtrack choice for the event of the last breeze of time that has passed us so oddly. I might be rambling or being a complete nonsensical fuck-face of (Corey is dangling bacon amongst my left cheek at this very moment, which I would normally find sickening but like it because it proves the point of my prediction that the sandwich would include a main ingredient of pig meat)  astounding proportions right now, and so I will still go on without worrying if I am a dumb bastard. Apologies should be in order, mostly because of my lack of grammar that is basically found in each sentence and continues to mount as the paragraph lengthens, but I fucking am only worried about board games at this point for some reason, so I am not sorry. Without any further, worthless adeu, here is the list that you’ve all been (not) waiting for…

The Top However Many Things I Am Wanting To Type And/Or Am Thinking About At This Very Moment
1.”Tanning beds explode with rich women inside.”
2.There is a breezy draft blowing throughout the shop right now, causing the operating handles of the window blinds to sway at a steady pace. But this is not a fair fight, for the left one has been situated at least an inch and a half above the right one. Prematurely out of the race. Bullshit. Saddening. Goddamn.
3.Did anyone ever answer the question concerning the whereabouts of Carmen Sandiego? I mean, they were always so mixed on their thoughts about it, constantly changing their answer. With the surveillance technology that exists in today’s modern world, you’d think they could’ve ended this mess rather easily.
4.It is normal for me to think about random, overlooked, maybe under-appreciated animals on a daily basis, probably at least four to seven times a day. In the last 10 hours however, I have thought about what could approach not only a hundred animals, preying mantis’s, etc, but also the numerous ways that they can slither, scavenge, feast in dumpsters, nibble away at what most would consider “common” household items, and what have you. I might not be making sense, that’s if I haven’t lost you to another, more interesting website or whatever by now, but the point is that thinking about a fucking raccoon tapping on the cupboard door of a middle-class kitchen, simply to get into a box of whole wheat Zesta crackers, is something I like to do. Iguanas are capable of being conceited too, let’s not forget that.
5.I am tired. Maybe I should sleep soon. I want to own something maroon that is of extreme value someday.
6.My grandfather has literally spent the last twenty years of life (and counting) sitting on a leather blue chair on an average of twelve hours each day complaining, being self-indulgent, anticipating the power-hour combo of Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy, and, chief among all things – HACKING. The man hacks up phlegm and various saliva, bits of whatever he had eaten minutes before, ALL GODDAMN DAY EVERY DAY, until the end of time, or his time. He refuses to either fix the problem or simply hack it out and spit it somewhere other than back into his body. It remains piling up in him, compounding into a future of even more hacks. An army of hacks. HACK HENCHMAN will be needed for recruit backup in the very near future.
7.I am stupid.


The Long-Awaited Collaboration Blog

June 19, 2008

For the past few months, my friend Elissa and I have talked about starting a blog that we could both participate in, a place where we could pool our thoughts together on whatever random things we wanted to talk about at any given time. What initially sparked such an idea is the fact that we are always talking about favorites lists we would make of albums, films, etc, always comparing our interests. The thought of a collaboration blog was always a good one, we just didn’t act on it as quick as we’d have liked to, but those days are over. A few days ago, Elissa officially created IS THE ONLY LOVE, the place that we’ll look to frequently deliver our random lists, poetry, rants, music talk, complaints, trend-bashings, comic book talk, and more nonsense that we could feel like spitting out. I hope you will take a look sometime. We promise we will try to make it interesting enough to wanna come back.

Some lists, inspired by recent reviews.

June 18, 2008

My 10 Favorite Mark Wahlberg Performances

1.I Heart Huckabees
2.Boogie Nights
3.The Happening
4.Three Kings
5.The Yards
6.The Perfect Storm
7.The Departed
8.The Basketball Diaries
10.We Own the Night

My 5 Favorite Zooey Deschanel Performances

1.All the Real Girls
2.Almost Famous
3.Winter Passing
4.The Happening
5.The Good Girl

My 5 Favorite John Leguizamo Performances

1.Summer of Sam
4.Land of the Dead
5.The Groomsmen

My 3 Favorite M. Might Shyamalan Films

2.The Happening
3.The Sixth Sense

My 2 Favorite Adam Sandler Performances

1.Punch-Drunk Love
2.Reign Over Me

My 10 Favorite John Turturro Performances

1.Barton Fink
2.Box of Moonlight
3.13 Conversations About One Thing
4.The Truce
5.O Brother, Where Art Thou?
6.The Big Lebowski
7.Quiz Show
9.Miller’s Crossing
10.Cradle Will Rock

Father’s Day/Birthday

June 16, 2008

“If I was a Pagan, then I would be one happy motherfucker.”

A quote earlier today from my dad, Mark Ferguson, commenting on the coincidence of his birthday being on the same day as Father’s Day…and displaying, as he does so often, how much he refuses to believe in celebrating them. Or any holiday for that matter, excluding Thanksgiving.

You Don’t Need To Mess With Seeing “The Zohan”

June 15, 2008

PG-13, 113 minutes, Columbia Pictures

For whatever reason, there still seems to be something intriguing enough about Adam Sandler, something that convinces me to pay for a ticket to see his (mostly) mindless comedies. Maybe I’m still sort of paying respect to the guy, or more accurately, being patient with him because he has shown the ability to branch out and display true acting chops from time to time, most notably in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love. Still, there is no excuse for me continuing to put myself through idiotic messes, like The Waterboy, Little Nicky, Anger Management, etc. Every summer, he releases a comedy that always looks stupid and most of the time follows through with that promise. I thought 2006 would be the last year I would put myself through the hell of trying his dumb projects, at that time I had just come out of the terrible experience of Click, which was mind-bogglingly awful. I did well by not even considering last year’s I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, a film that I know could be nothing but bad and will never see. Little did I know, it only took one more year to pull me back into the trap of Sandler-itis, for yesterday I indeed went to see You Don’t Mess With The Zohan. I had two fair excuses for choosing to see this film, though – the main one being that Judd Apatow co-wrote it. The movie also got my pick because the competition at the multiplex was extremely slim this weekend.

Apatow worked on the script with Robert Smigel and Sandler himself, filling it with over-the-top bits that I bet had a lot of promise on paper, there’s no doubt, and although it doesn’t fall apart into a complete disaster once it was made into pictures, it’s certainly not a recommendable comedy by any means. That’s a sad thing really, because there are all the components for a guilty pleasure fun time to be had with Zohan, who is a virtually indestructible Israeli agent that is fed up with living the life of endless violence, so decides to fake his death and make his way to the New York City for a new life and a new profession – in hairstyling. The trio of writers do their very best at peppering the film with absolutely insane moments, and some of them work well, but the movie is reaching too far and is way, way too long and easily overstays its welcome. I became very restless toward the end of the film, when over-the-top is taken too far with a hackey sack tournament that features attendees like John McEnroe, Kevin James, and Mariah Carey. To say that this is one of the funniest films Sandler has released in a while, which it is, is still not saying enough to consider it a good film, just better than bad. The performance by Sandler is one of the things in the film to praise, for he is always amping up the energy with Zohan, sticking with the ridiculous tones set in place from the very beginning. I’m not sure if it is even right to applaud an actor for immersing himself in a film and role like this, but Sandler does lose himself entirely in Zohan and he’s the anchor for making the movie even remotely watchable.

Besides have a supporting cast of usuals from Sandler comedies, like John Turturro, the horrific Rob Schneider, Robert Smigel, and others, the film sports a cameo list that reaches a high number. There is a particularly good appearance in the movie by Chris Rock as a Jamaican taxi driver, making his short screen time memorable. Though completely different films, both this and the other movie I saw this weekend, The Happening, have similar focus when it comes to the American paranoia since 9/11. Zohan displays the end of the middle-eastern people’s struggles to get around a terrorist image, and in New York City no-less. It is played in a near slapstick manner of course, at times effectively (not to use this term so much) over-the-top. To watch this film frequently present promise of unique hilarity at times and then fail to do so, was a tragic disappointment, but I guess for it even to approach that level is something to marvel at. I certainly do hope that Apatow and Sandler decide to work together again, maybe on something Apatow himself decides to take on for directing. If they could find the right notes then this could be a good tandem for numerous projects to come…but that remains a big “if”.