Posts Tagged ‘Marines’

A list sparked at random and due to the fact that I have managed to stay awake throughout an entire night for the first time in I have no clue when.

June 20, 2008

I honestly can’t really tell if I am awake right now. I know that I am not entirely awake. Tony, Corey, and I have roamed the parking lots, coffee shops, sports bars, hotels, basketball courts, and convenience stores for the last 10 hours, making a full and resilient effort to last until Panera opened at 6 A.M. As I type this sentence it is the very stroke of 6:26 in the morning, Friday, June the 20th, and we have managed to complete our hefty task.

My brother immediately fell into a baffling sleep and is lounged across a comfortable-as-hell-looking sofa  chair.

I am sitting at a corner table, typing away on my laptop while Corey sits beside me on his, feasting on a breakfast sandwich of some sort, I’m guessing it’s sporting a type of pig meat and whatnot.

I am listening to the Red House Painters song, “Funhouse”, which I feel is really the coincidental-but-inevitably-brilliant soundtrack choice for the event of the last breeze of time that has passed us so oddly. I might be rambling or being a complete nonsensical fuck-face of (Corey is dangling bacon amongst my left cheek at this very moment, which I would normally find sickening but like it because it proves the point of my prediction that the sandwich would include a main ingredient of pig meat)  astounding proportions right now, and so I will still go on without worrying if I am a dumb bastard. Apologies should be in order, mostly because of my lack of grammar that is basically found in each sentence and continues to mount as the paragraph lengthens, but I fucking am only worried about board games at this point for some reason, so I am not sorry. Without any further, worthless adeu, here is the list that you’ve all been (not) waiting for…

The Top However Many Things I Am Wanting To Type And/Or Am Thinking About At This Very Moment
1.”Tanning beds explode with rich women inside.”
2.There is a breezy draft blowing throughout the shop right now, causing the operating handles of the window blinds to sway at a steady pace. But this is not a fair fight, for the left one has been situated at least an inch and a half above the right one. Prematurely out of the race. Bullshit. Saddening. Goddamn.
3.Did anyone ever answer the question concerning the whereabouts of Carmen Sandiego? I mean, they were always so mixed on their thoughts about it, constantly changing their answer. With the surveillance technology that exists in today’s modern world, you’d think they could’ve ended this mess rather easily.
4.It is normal for me to think about random, overlooked, maybe under-appreciated animals on a daily basis, probably at least four to seven times a day. In the last 10 hours however, I have thought about what could approach not only a hundred animals, preying mantis’s, etc, but also the numerous ways that they can slither, scavenge, feast in dumpsters, nibble away at what most would consider “common” household items, and what have you. I might not be making sense, that’s if I haven’t lost you to another, more interesting website or whatever by now, but the point is that thinking about a fucking raccoon tapping on the cupboard door of a middle-class kitchen, simply to get into a box of whole wheat Zesta crackers, is something I like to do. Iguanas are capable of being conceited too, let’s not forget that.
5.I am tired. Maybe I should sleep soon. I want to own something maroon that is of extreme value someday.
6.My grandfather has literally spent the last twenty years of life (and counting) sitting on a leather blue chair on an average of twelve hours each day complaining, being self-indulgent, anticipating the power-hour combo of Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy, and, chief among all things – HACKING. The man hacks up phlegm and various saliva, bits of whatever he had eaten minutes before, ALL GODDAMN DAY EVERY DAY, until the end of time, or his time. He refuses to either fix the problem or simply hack it out and spit it somewhere other than back into his body. It remains piling up in him, compounding into a future of even more hacks. An army of hacks. HACK HENCHMAN will be needed for recruit backup in the very near future.
7.I am stupid.


Father’s Day/Birthday

June 16, 2008

“If I was a Pagan, then I would be one happy motherfucker.”

A quote earlier today from my dad, Mark Ferguson, commenting on the coincidence of his birthday being on the same day as Father’s Day…and displaying, as he does so often, how much he refuses to believe in celebrating them. Or any holiday for that matter, excluding Thanksgiving.